Let me start by saying that some of you people are very sick indeed. Having perverted fantasies about the way people die is entirely abnormal. Of course, that was the task at hand and you exceeded our expectations.
Unfortunately we could only pick a couple of winners and we picked the ones that we thought fit best with our Spirit Guide's voice, timing and consistency with the other "ways to die" in the game. It doesn't even mean they were the best overall, they just fit the best.
We have learned, however that going to the community is a fantastic way to get contributions that are often better than we could manage ourselves and we are excited about doing this type of thing again soon!
Thanks from the Old Schoolers! The winning entries are listed below
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
All You Can Eat Burritos!