Hello, my blood thirsty little sociopaths! It is I, the
effervescent master of eloquence, your spirit guide!
I have a delightful treat for your grubby little sausage
fingers! The people at Atlus and Old School Games, have deemed one of you
plebeians to be worthy of receiving a piece of original God Mode concept
artwork, signed by all the twisted perverts on the development team!
Isn't that
lovely!!
"And how do we get it, oh great master of oratory?" I
hear you cry. Well, all you have to do, is write an original, charming little
limerick, and submit your entries here, in the comments section. The subject of the limerick...
me! What better subject I should say! Here's an example:
"There once was a handsome old ghoul,
Whose body made Spartan men drool!
He's tall and slender
With a sizeable member,
Now don't you think he's rather cool?"
Of course, I chose to give a fact based example there,
but we'll gladly welcome fictional works also.
So, wipe the snot off your keyboards and get typing those
limmerizzles right now! Woooo!
Sincerely yours,
Spirit Guide
X
Contest open to entries until 11:59 pm PT this Monday, March 4th.
There was once a crazy old fool.
ReplyDeleteWhose pride was the demon lords tool.
He thought he was grand!
But turned to red sand.
When the demon lord took his souls dues.
Twas' a man trapped in the Maze of Hades,
ReplyDeleteWho's said to be good with the ladies,
With a gun in one hand,
He'll set out through the land,
To get out with a certain sassy matey!
The guide of the spirits, he speaks
ReplyDeleteThe first words I've heard in weeks
The spirit shall lead us
to the tops of Olympus
from these treachorous ruinous keeps
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ReplyDeleteThere once was a silver-tongued cretin
ReplyDeleteWho sent all the pseudo-damned seethin'
He thought he was hip
With his jokes and his quips
But he wasn't worth a damned drop of semen
There was once a wise spirit guide
ReplyDeleteHe and I had time to bide
To strike against the gods
To strike against all odds
His grin was welcome and snide
Bad method to post. My email is Ratheunbeatable@aol.com
DeleteThere once was a guide of spirits.
DeleteWith a mind so warped you would fear it.
He'd bludgeon your cat
With a spiked bat
And he'd make sure you could hear it.
There once was a man who every woman wanted to date
ReplyDeleteWherever he went the was an alrming fertility rate
Unfortunately, he was killed by a twist of fate
After his death, necrophilia rates began to soar
Even in death, he was surounded by whores
Riddled and shocked, the man had arrived.
ReplyDeleteA shiny sharp dagger, stuck in his side.
He gave no thought to the pain;
As it all felt the same
His only concern was his pride.
I once met a buxom cadaver
ReplyDeleteLike Hades I thought I should fuck 'er
But the filthy bitch
Was a rotten witch
Hades now plays cadaver soccer
there once was a nerd with a boner
ReplyDeletewho felt it was too much a loner
grabbed some peanut butter
a stray dog from the gutter
he's now a quite cheerful pet owner
Standing on the edge of a cliff,
ReplyDeleteA man stood there still and stiff.
Reflecting on the past,
trying to make it last,
Wondering now, who will make the next biff.
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ReplyDeleteBy Hades hand did I die
ReplyDeleteCast down from my home in the sky
But with guns a blazin'
And my codpiece amazin'
Like little bitches they'll cry
There once was a man named Bony
ReplyDeleteBut the name was rather phony
Instead of erect
There was hardly a speck
No wonder his weekends were lonely
The fools tried to beat me,
ReplyDeleteA simple game of words-all they see,
They attempted to win,
I managed to grin,
I rhyme backed by a Bachelors Degree.
There once was a Game Company
ReplyDeleteWho Filled all their players with glee
They released the game GodMode
An astounding piece of game code
And now we can kill with glee!
There was once a boy named Dick
ReplyDeleteWho freaked at the site of a cliff
When he went to the shore
his mommy did ignore
so now he is no more
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ReplyDeleteOnce, there was a warrior so strong.
ReplyDeleteHe had a body that could do no wrong.
But along came a shock!
He no longer could walk!
Split in half by a certain ghoul's... erm. Weapon.
(Sorry, saw a typo and it bugged me, had to correct!)
On my controller I stub my thumbs,
ReplyDeleteas another dumb game this way comes
But wait! It's not just some old load.
Atlus has brought me God Mode!
Now in the depths of Hell I kill.
My, this game is such a thrill.
The Great Elder Lords' dilemma
ReplyDeleteLost Relics through the miasma
A jerk with a plan
Could use their grubby hand
Blood of the innocent, holla!
Hades has cast my lot out,
ReplyDeleteAs I fell, I started to shout,
"With weapons in hand,
I'll tear down this land!"
You'll soon learn what pain is about.
The words fail to show,
ReplyDeleteThe majesty as we know it,
His greatness and clout,
Ensure without doubt,
They really should have sent a poet.
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ReplyDeleteHere's a mortal, hung like a god
ReplyDeleteWho lived life with his pants not on.
The Hoplites said "Don't trip!"
He ran despite of it,
And fell before the pantheon.
Once upon a wild death ride
ReplyDeletecame dreary news quipped from my spirit guide
purgatory had found me
you must survive harkened he
or thy shall fall to Hades' pride
Good god what a meddling twit
ReplyDeleteThat officious and tiresome Brit
With his voice all falsetto
And his jokes oh so ghetto
Maybe Old School can force him to quit?
There once was a sorry voice actor
Who got cut on round one of X Factor
He got a job in a game
And he was oh so so lame
But not quite as bad as Mike Pachter
Do you think the spirit guide is gay?
Or is he just unsure of his way?
He claims "well endowed"
And boy is he proud
But what matter if he can't get a lay?
The spirit guide mocks us a fool
And brags of the size of his tool
But if truth be told
I'm really not sold
As methinks he ain't hung like a mule
Oh let me tell you an ode
Of the spirit guide from the game god mode
He talks like a horse
And claims to be of higher force
But he's really no more than a toad
That spirit guide claims the big weenie
And derides us like a haggard brit meanie
He guides us through hades
and spends no time with the ladies
because he actually is really quite teenie
The spirit guide likes to bend over
and play hide the bone with his doggy rover
he's never had a wife
and leads quite a dull life
and has less luck than a one leaf clover
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ReplyDeleteDeath's Grasp isn't enough to deafen her whine.
ReplyDeleteI slit her throat and buried her in pieces.
That is my crime.
The Thread, it seems, instilled me with purpose.
I find my hand on corpses dismembered,
quartered and cathetered,
and flattened into a sexy cream.
I am the Harbinger that ended her scream.
The scream that soundtracks the animated flesh
of my rotting four man team.
So ATLUS is making a game
ReplyDeleteWhich is sure to bring me some pain
They're all hard as hell,
And soon, I can tell,
ATLUS will laugh at my pain.
The spirit guide is one sexy sucker
ReplyDeleteMuch hotter than a one eyed trucker
His voice makes me moist
When he speaks i rejoice
For that art I would kneel down and pucker