Monday, February 25, 2013

Win An Exclusive Piece of Signed Art

Hello, my blood thirsty little sociopaths! It is I, the effervescent master of eloquence, your spirit guide!

I have a delightful treat for your grubby little sausage fingers! The people at Atlus and Old School Games, have deemed one of you plebeians to be worthy of receiving a piece of original God Mode concept artwork, signed by all the twisted perverts on the development team!

 Isn't that lovely!! 

"And how do we get it, oh great master of oratory?" I hear you cry. Well, all you have to do, is write an original, charming little limerick, and submit your entries here, in the comments section. The subject of the limerick... me! What better subject I should say! Here's an example:

"There once was a handsome old ghoul,
Whose body made Spartan men drool!
He's tall and slender
With a sizeable member,
Now don't you think he's rather cool?"

Of course, I chose to give a fact based example there, but we'll gladly welcome fictional works also.

So, wipe the snot off your keyboards and get typing those limmerizzles right now! Woooo!

Sincerely yours,

Spirit Guide


Contest open to entries until 11:59 pm PT this Monday, March 4th.

Fb Comments


  1. There was once a crazy old fool.
    Whose pride was the demon lords tool.
    He thought he was grand!
    But turned to red sand.
    When the demon lord took his souls dues.

  2. Twas' a man trapped in the Maze of Hades,
    Who's said to be good with the ladies,
    With a gun in one hand,
    He'll set out through the land,
    To get out with a certain sassy matey!

  3. The guide of the spirits, he speaks
    The first words I've heard in weeks
    The spirit shall lead us
    to the tops of Olympus
    from these treachorous ruinous keeps

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  5. There once was a silver-tongued cretin
    Who sent all the pseudo-damned seethin'
    He thought he was hip
    With his jokes and his quips
    But he wasn't worth a damned drop of semen

  6. There was once a wise spirit guide
    He and I had time to bide
    To strike against the gods
    To strike against all odds
    His grin was welcome and snide

    1. Bad method to post. My email is

    2. There once was a guide of spirits.
      With a mind so warped you would fear it.
      He'd bludgeon your cat
      With a spiked bat
      And he'd make sure you could hear it.

  7. There once was a man who every woman wanted to date

    Wherever he went the was an alrming fertility rate

    Unfortunately, he was killed by a twist of fate

    After his death, necrophilia rates began to soar

    Even in death, he was surounded by whores

  8. Riddled and shocked, the man had arrived.
    A shiny sharp dagger, stuck in his side.
    He gave no thought to the pain;
    As it all felt the same
    His only concern was his pride.

  9. I once met a buxom cadaver
    Like Hades I thought I should fuck 'er
    But the filthy bitch
    Was a rotten witch
    Hades now plays cadaver soccer

  10. there once was a nerd with a boner
    who felt it was too much a loner
    grabbed some peanut butter
    a stray dog from the gutter
    he's now a quite cheerful pet owner

  11. Standing on the edge of a cliff,
    A man stood there still and stiff.
    Reflecting on the past,
    trying to make it last,
    Wondering now, who will make the next biff.

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  13. By Hades hand did I die
    Cast down from my home in the sky
    But with guns a blazin'
    And my codpiece amazin'
    Like little bitches they'll cry

  14. There once was a man named Bony
    But the name was rather phony
    Instead of erect
    There was hardly a speck
    No wonder his weekends were lonely

  15. The fools tried to beat me,
    A simple game of words-all they see,
    They attempted to win,
    I managed to grin,
    I rhyme backed by a Bachelors Degree.

  16. There once was a Game Company
    Who Filled all their players with glee
    They released the game GodMode
    An astounding piece of game code
    And now we can kill with glee!

  17. There was once a boy named Dick
    Who freaked at the site of a cliff
    When he went to the shore
    his mommy did ignore
    so now he is no more

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  19. Once, there was a warrior so strong.
    He had a body that could do no wrong.
    But along came a shock!
    He no longer could walk!
    Split in half by a certain ghoul's... erm. Weapon.

    (Sorry, saw a typo and it bugged me, had to correct!)

  20. On my controller I stub my thumbs,
    as another dumb game this way comes

    But wait! It's not just some old load.
    Atlus has brought me God Mode!

    Now in the depths of Hell I kill.
    My, this game is such a thrill.

  21. The Great Elder Lords' dilemma
    Lost Relics through the miasma
    A jerk with a plan
    Could use their grubby hand
    Blood of the innocent, holla!

  22. Hades has cast my lot out,
    As I fell, I started to shout,
    "With weapons in hand,
    I'll tear down this land!"
    You'll soon learn what pain is about.

  23. The words fail to show,
    The majesty as we know it,
    His greatness and clout,
    Ensure without doubt,
    They really should have sent a poet.

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  25. Here's a mortal, hung like a god
    Who lived life with his pants not on.
    The Hoplites said "Don't trip!"
    He ran despite of it,
    And fell before the pantheon.

  26. Once upon a wild death ride
    came dreary news quipped from my spirit guide
    purgatory had found me
    you must survive harkened he
    or thy shall fall to Hades' pride

  27. Good god what a meddling twit
    That officious and tiresome Brit
    With his voice all falsetto
    And his jokes oh so ghetto
    Maybe Old School can force him to quit?

    There once was a sorry voice actor
    Who got cut on round one of X Factor
    He got a job in a game
    And he was oh so so lame
    But not quite as bad as Mike Pachter

    Do you think the spirit guide is gay?
    Or is he just unsure of his way?
    He claims "well endowed"
    And boy is he proud
    But what matter if he can't get a lay?

    The spirit guide mocks us a fool
    And brags of the size of his tool
    But if truth be told
    I'm really not sold
    As methinks he ain't hung like a mule

    Oh let me tell you an ode
    Of the spirit guide from the game god mode
    He talks like a horse
    And claims to be of higher force
    But he's really no more than a toad

    That spirit guide claims the big weenie
    And derides us like a haggard brit meanie
    He guides us through hades
    and spends no time with the ladies
    because he actually is really quite teenie

    The spirit guide likes to bend over
    and play hide the bone with his doggy rover
    he's never had a wife
    and leads quite a dull life
    and has less luck than a one leaf clover

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  29. Death's Grasp isn't enough to deafen her whine.
    I slit her throat and buried her in pieces.
    That is my crime.
    The Thread, it seems, instilled me with purpose.
    I find my hand on corpses dismembered,
    quartered and cathetered,
    and flattened into a sexy cream.
    I am the Harbinger that ended her scream.
    The scream that soundtracks the animated flesh
    of my rotting four man team.

  30. So ATLUS is making a game
    Which is sure to bring me some pain
    They're all hard as hell,
    And soon, I can tell,
    ATLUS will laugh at my pain.

  31. The spirit guide is one sexy sucker
    Much hotter than a one eyed trucker
    His voice makes me moist
    When he speaks i rejoice
    For that art I would kneel down and pucker